By Lisa Caplan
What do we actually have control over? When I ask my clients why they need to be in control, I get a lot of answers, but one common response is that it helps them feel calmer and more relaxed when they know what is going on. If they don’t have control, they feel agitated, nervous, frustrated, scared and even angry. So, I’m concluding that most people are on an emotional rollercoaster – feeling relaxed when they think they can control a situation and it goes their way, and anxious when they can’t. It seems like this approach to life may result in a constant state of uncertainty, because we actually have control over very little. I’m guilty of trying to control too, but think about it, the only things that we can actually control are our own actions and choices. We can’t control other people, the weather, society, etc. Letting go of that need to control can free you from a lot of angst that you don’t need.
Here are some tips to help you to start letting go of the need to control:
For assistance, please contact the Lawyer Assistance Program for free, confidential counseling. We have a network of counselors throughout Maryland. Jim Quinn, Lawyer Assistance Director, (443) 703-3041, firstname.lastname@example.org; Lisa Caplan, LCSW-C, Associate Director of the Lawyer Assistance Program, (443) 703-3042, email@example.com. 24/7 Toll Free 1(888) 388-5459.
Lisa Caplan, LCSW-C has over 20 years experience in her field, and extensive experience working with lawyers and judges in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and trauma.